As we are progressing through life, so should our clothes. The same clothes that flattered a 20 year-old-body most likely aren’t going to flatter a 40+ body – even if you are in great shape.

To stay fresh, you must refresh! Trying to hang on to clothing that worked before can really date you now.

Here are a few things to avoid…

Don’t dress too young. Dressing too young actually can just succeed in making you look older. Leave the miniskirts to someone else – even if you have great legs.

Forget baggy clothes. You’re so much better off with clothing that gives you shape.

Relook at color. Don’t think you can necessarily wear the same colors as when you were 20. Our skin changes so try different colors when you go shopping and pay attention to how they look next to your skin now.

Don’t worry about the trend of the moment. Instead, find a bold piece of jewelry, get a great new bag, update your shoes (probably not the ones in the picture) for a way to stay updated without getting too trendy.

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Before I give you some ideas on naturally boosting your memory, let’s talk a little about the psychological component. I’ve heard a lot of women refer times when they forget something as ‘senior moments.’ But beware: thinking of it that way may produce the very mental lapses that most people fear will strike them as they move up in age. Your perspective can make a difference.

The New York Times ran a story last July (click here to view) about these so-called ‘senior moments.’ In it they found fear of memory lapses among middle-aged adults can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. So even joking about senior moments could be a negative signal to your unconscious! With that said, we can all benefit from avoiding health problems that negatively affect our brain so let’s take a look.

Three things – YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER – that can negatively affect your memory…

Prolonged Stress: Did you you know the chemicals stress produces can actually kill neurons?

High Cholesterol: This is amazing but cholesterol in your brain can slow the speed at which you absorb new information!

Lack of Sleep: Too little sleep on a consistent basis can affect brain function, ability to focus, and yes, memory loss.

Three things YOU CAN DO to promote a good memory…

Become an expect at dealing with stress: Connect with friends, change your perspective, GET A LIFE COACH

Eat Healthy and Exercise: Yeah, yeah, yeah – we’ve all heard; we all know it; so JUST DO IT!

Get YOUR Right Amount of Sleep: While everyone’s body clock is different, 7-8 hours a night still holds true for most.

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If you’ve been coming to my site or blog, you must know by now that I’m passionate about helping women ease through the potential symptoms of perimenopause and menopause. Well in my ongoing quest for education and information I have come across a super fun product called MenoPaws Pals. Susanita, who labels herself – CEO (Chief Executive Overheated) – brings you something fun and snuggly to ease your ‘power surges.’

Susanita says, “When being a Hot Cougar isn’t everything it is made out to be…..Cool the Fire & Calm the Spirit – Hug your MenoPawsPalTM”

Anyway, I thought this was fun and maybe a great idea for those of you experiencing night sweats. If you are interested, you can go to http://www.menopawspals.com

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It’s very common for people to “share” their illnesses at work but not so much with the natural transition of menopause. And yet, it’s affecting an huge population of the workforce. More than one-half of the American population goes through menopause and since it’s estimated that women make up 47 percent of the workforce, then hundreds of millions of workers deal with it.

Many working women in their 40s and 50s are hitting their stride professionally but they may also be facing sleep deprivation, memory loss, and fluctuations in body temperature, moods and energy levels. Doesn’t seem kind of ridiculous to have this topic still be taboo in organizational life?

What happens if you “suddenly” become less effective in your work? Many times the source is not even recognized by the woman experiencing the issues. As a Business and Life Coach, I can’t tell you how many times I have been working with a woman on “emotional and strategy” issues in her work for several weeks with seemingly little progress before I had the thought – wait a minute – how old are you again? Inevitably the answer was that the woman was in her 40s or 50s.

The next step was to have her get her hormone levels checked and in most cases they were in flux. Ahh, now we have something to work with. Coaching became something that worked alongside various other approaches to creating balance. Those could include acupuncture treatments, identifying the need to tonify the kidney, herbal formulas and possibly traditional or bioidentical hormone replacement therapy.

The bottom-line is that if you’re not aware, you can spiral out of control which of course will negatively affect your work and your life. Or you can recognize what’s happening and proactively address it.

You can restore balance to your body and your life!!

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You must know by now that I’m a champion for embracing the transition of life we call menopause. But I’m finding that not all of us are responding to this time in a very mature way.

Even though most of us are pretty darn healthy – healthier than our mothers and grandmothers at this age – but many still have trepidation when we think of perimenopause and menopause.

Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff, authors of “Queen of Your Own Life: The Grown-Up Woman’s Guide to Claiming Happiness and Getting the Life You Deserve,” agree with me that this is the perfect time to feel your power and admire the woman you’ve become.

“We wanted to blast away the societal tall tale that young is beautiful and old is just … old,” says Kinney.

You may want to check out this entertaining and inspiring book where they share the their tried-and-true techniques they call “the seven best gifts a woman can give herself.” They reveal how they learned to value themselves just the way they are—women in full bloom, sensual, vibrant, wise and more beautiful than ever—and they’ll show you how you can, too.

Would would happen if you decided RIGHT NOW to joyfully embrace this next stage of your life (and hopefully the next one and the one after that, and the one after that)?

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For all those women out there who think men aren’t interested in women in their 40s and 50s!!

Bill’s Thoughts:

Debra, I applaud and honor you for addressing the issue of menopause, and particularly for celebrating menopause as something wonderful, when society too often brands it as something negative (I’m big on creatively dispelling negative myths).

As an attempt to assist you in your magnificent research in this area, I would like to offer you some male reflections on female menopause and how it affects a certain niche of post-menopausal male/female relationships.

More specifically, I would like to share my observations on dating – both mine and those of similar men. I fall into a class of men having the following characteristics:
• 50-something (I’m 57, like you)
• Single
• Heterosexual
• Highly educated
• Highly successful careers (though some, like me, were successful enough to retire early)
• Reasonably well-off financially, though not necessarily super wealthy
• Spiritually-oriented
• In touch with our feminine side
• Active social life (friends, theater, parties, etc.)
• Good physical shape
• Healthy libido
• Interested in dating 50-something women (that’s dating women in their 50’s, not dating something like 50 women – lol!)

The challenge that this class of men face is that it seems (emphasis on “seems”) that 50-something women don’t seem to be interested in dating within this class of men, or any men, for that matter. Having said that, we readily acknowledge that we may not be the right fit for their personality: maybe they prefer 70-something men, or 20-something men, or uneducated, heavily inked, bikers. But, it seems that they are not interested in dating any men. From our standpoint, that unwillingness/fear is very sad because we have a lot to offer. We come to dating out of our abundance not our inadequacy, strength not weakness, sharing not solace, giving not taking.

So, this whole situation seems very enigmatic. Maybe we’re fooling ourselves. Maybe 50-something women won’t date us because our class of men are fundamentally a bunch of jerks? As for me, other classes of women are very happy to date me: 20/30-somethings, married women (with their husbands’ consent and knowledge), and nuns (I’ll explain that to you sometime). But I’d/we’d really, really rather be dating 50-something women!

Having said all this, I have had the pleasure of dating some wonderful 50-something women who are very interested in dating and make great girlfriends. In my case, the only reason that the relationships didn’t work out is that they found another great 50-something man that better fit their needs. The one common characteristic of these women, that I have casually observed, is that they seem to be very much in touch with their masculine side.

In summary, from the front lines of dating, it seems that 50-something women are reluctant/afraid to date, which is a shame because I think that their lives would be so further enriched by dating the right man. And I purposely say further enriched, not improved – these women already have great lives thank you very much.

So, I have identified the problem, that’s the easy part. I have my ideas as to solutions, but I’d rather leave the solutions to you, as you are much more knowledgeable than me. And, maybe it’s really about the men, not the women. But, I felt that the behavior appears with enough frequency to at least bring it to your attention for further analysis.

I pray that my sharing with you is of some use in the great work that you are doing.

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Today I got a clean bill of health from the surgeon and my energy is also fully restored. So please check in daily to see what new info there is that will help you enjoy and take advantage of this time of your life. Tomorrow I’ll be posting an email I received from a man in his 50s with his perspective on women and dating at this age – it’s very interesting!

Hey – sorry for the delay in posting but I went to the hospital with some unexplained pain and left minus my gallbladder. Turns out it’s possible that a contributor may have been excess estrogen so I’ll be back in a day or two with some info on that subject.

All is well now but I’m catching up a bit on other things. Please check back!

What if there were something you could do once a week that would make your skin look more youthful and it were easy?

Well there is something and it is easy – exfoliate!

Credit is given to the ancient Egyptians for the practice of exfoliation – kings and queens used alabaster and pumice to remove blemishes and rough spots and make their skin smooth and soft. New skin cells are created in the skin’s lower layer, the dermis. There is approximately a 28-30 day journey where the cells migrate to the surface of the skin and become more acidic. As we move through menopause and beyond the natural process of skin erosion becomes uneven, which gives skin a dry and rough character.

Exfoliation removes the outer layer to reveal the newer skin beneath and it stimulates new cell growth. It can benefit the skin on your face, around your lips, neck, elbows, knees and feet. It is best to exfoliate once or twice a week. You don’t want to irritate your skin or remove healthy living cells by doing it daily.

There are three different exfoliating methods:

Manual skin exfoliation refers to any form of topical skin exfoliation that is either applied to the skin or moved manually across the skin and it’s best suited for normal skin. It may be done using a soft washcloth, a facial scrub product, or an exfoliating mask. Be sure to use a product with finer grains for a gentle scrub that won’t tear or irritate the skin.

Chemical exfoliation is a bio engineered ingredient with the ability to dissolve or loosen the glue like substance holding dead cells together for exfoliation. It typically uses glycolic and lactic acids derived from fruit or milk in order to loosen the bind between dead skin cells and the facial surface. Because you do not “scrub” it is often recommended for women with acne, pimples, fragile, broken capillaries or any skin type and condition that can’t tolerate pressure or friction of manual exfoliation.

Enzymes are known as molecules that can speed up chemical reactions. When you apply an enzyme on your skin, it comes into chemical reaction with keratin protein in dead skin cells breaking it up and loosening the cells. Example of an exfoliating enzyme is a proteolytic enzyme like subtilisin and papain. This may be a good choice if you have thickened, sun-damaged skin and no problem with breakouts. Natural fruit enzymes like papain work well if you are looking for a milder exfoliant.

Here’s a Simple Home Remedy for Manual Exfoliation. Try combining a few tablespoons of oatmeal in cheesecloth or muslin. Dampen the cloth and scrub gently over the surface of your skin. Apply the wet oatmeal directly to the face and use as a mask for five minutes before cleansing. You can also add baking soda to the oatmeal in order to create a paste.

Remember to test out any product, whether purchased or created at home, on a small patch of skin prior to use in order to ensure that irritation does not take place!

So out with the old and in with the new!

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Okay, it is common for women to gain weight during perimenopause and menopause, but it’s not inevitable. On average, women gain about a pound a year during this time and while reversing this tendency will most likely take extra focus and commitment, it’s rather simple. INCREASE your activity level and enjoy a healthy diet.

What causes of weight gain in perimenopause and menopause? The obvious answer is a change in hormones and while that is a factor so is lifestyle. Many women begin exercising less instead of more and since the number of calories we need as we age is less that means we have to exercise/burn more calories just to stay the same.

Now let’s talk about what and how much we eat. This must change to if you want to maintain a healthy weight. Remember the number of calories you need for energy decreases as you age because aging promotes the replacement of muscle with fat. Muscle burns more calories than fat does. When your body composition shifts to more fat and less muscle, your metabolism slows down.

Some women just accept the extra weight that they believe comes with age but if you are willing to accept it from a ‘beauty’ standpoint consider that there’s more at stake. Weight gain can have serious implications for your health. Excess weight increases your risk of high cholesterol, high blood pressure and insulin resistance, which can lead to type 2 diabetes. There’s also evidence that weight gain after menopause increases breast cancer risk. Women who gain in excess of 20 pounds after menopause increase their breast cancer risk by nearly 20 percent. On the other hand, losing weight after menopause can reduce breast cancer risk.

The most effective approach to reversing weight gain after menopause includes a combination of the following:

Increase your physical activity. You can become more physically active even without starting a formal exercise program. Just spend more time doing the things you love that also get you moving. Do more gardening and dancing. Take longer walks or try out a bike. Make it your goal to be active for a total of 30 minutes or more a day.

Reduce calories. Slightly reduce the amount of calories you consume each day by choosing a varied diet of primarily of fruits and vegetables. As we move to the next phase of life, studies say we need about 200 fewer calories a day to maintain our weight.

Eliminate or drastically decrease ‘bad’ fat. Limit fat to 20 to 35 percent of your daily calories and make sure that fat comes from healthy sources, such as nuts, olive, fish oils – focus on getting your ‘good’ fats in. See the post, Low Fat Diets Are Bad For You.

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